Best Breakup Song

I recently learned that an acquaintance is getting divorced. Don't worry people, the "acquaintance" is not me. Having twin babies is a strong deterrent to divorce. Be a single parent? No way in heck. Anyway, because my mind wanders in strange directions, I started thinking about all the break up songs I've heard. I was trying to think of the best break up song ever and have narrowed it down to two: "Jude Law and the Semester Abroad" by Brand New and "One More Minute" by Weird Al.

Here's the case for "Jude Law..." It has this totally awesome line:

"I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips."

Then there's this very very tender thought:

"And even if her plane crashes tonight she'll find some way to disappoint me,
by not burning in the wreckage or drowning at the bottom of the sea."

Here's the case for "One More Minute." First, it's by Weird Al. That's just funny. It also has this jem:

"I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you"

As the daughter of a germaphobe mother, this line hit me particularly hard when I first heard the song in the sixth grade:

"I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you"

There are also lines about eating glass and going down a razor slide and landing in a pool of acid. Nice. Can you see why this is such a tough choice? I guess I'll have to think about it some more while Jared is out of town, and I'm stuck changing all the diapers. Actually, I was going to post some pictures of the girls for him to see in Atlanta, but Jared's not here to take the pictures off the camera and so there they stay. See? Yet another reason why I wouldn't get a divorce. If Jared weren't around, all my pictures would be trapped on the camera. Just kidding. I love my husband. I swear.